clueless......I think

The joy of giving is something you will never understand until you actually give something. And by giving i don't mean when someone has to play tug of war to get it from you. Or when you give because someone wants you to. For instance, i was walking down khader nawaz khan road one sunny afternoon, and I'd bought myself a delicious iced tea from basrista. I was sipping at it and crossing esprit when this guy who was pushing this huge ass cart, asked me for my iced tea. I looked at him for 2 seconds, at his sweaty and tired face, gave him the cup and walked away. I thought I'll feel good about it. I didn't. That was confusing. After i thought about it for a while I realized, I actually didn't want to give it to him. Probably because i paid some hard earned money for it. Or because it was a very hot day and i was pretty tired myself. Whatever the case, I did not feel the 'joy of giving'. I was pretty bummed. I gave away passion fruit iced tea AND did not feel good about it. What the hell! The very next day i went to Express Avenue (by this I have established that i live in Chennai and am a shopaholic beyond help) and i was waiting behind his big group of people for the escalator. I peeped in front and saw this tiny girl (please note: tinier than me) shivering and almost in tears. She was afraid to step on the escalator. I just pushed ahead of the crowd, held on to her hand, asked her to look at my feet and keep pace with it. And we were both on the escalator. And she was grinning at me the whole way. And she thanked me profusely and went the other way. Now i helped her out so that i can be on my way faster. Nothing self-less about that. But for some reason it felt good.

(this is when I blink for a while, wondering what the point of this story was)

Okay now i'm even more confused. So what does a person have to do to experience the 'joy of giving'? Be self-less and give away yummy iced tea or help out a kid so that you can be on your way?